.io domains considered harmful
.io domains considered harmful 2022-11-14 .io .io .io .io .io .io .io .io .io .io .io you see .io everywhere. but where did it come from? .io domains are very popular in tech circles. i personally think it's because "io" sounds kind of fun to say at the end of words. it's easy to imagine saying things like KEYBOARDIO, and PRODUCTIO! FANTASTIO! but also, .io is very startup. it's very silicon valley. it's agile. grokio. twilio. hot. fast. factorio. graphio. it's sexy. wingardium. levio. sah. _ /b_,dM\__,_ _/MMMMMMMMMMMm, _YMMMMMMMMMMMM( `MMMMMM/ / \ MMM| __ / __/ _____________ YMM/_/# \__/# \ ( ) (. \__/ \__/ ( .io is web scale ) ) _, | (_______________) _____/\ _ / -------/ \ `._____,' `..___(__ ``-. \ [0] ) also - apparently this is important - the letters "i" and "o" together have some amount of precedent as input/output in computer lingo. maybe seeing those letters together lends subconscious "tech cred." the whole input/output thing never really occured to me tbh. but what people may not know is that the .io domain name has an annoying history. a history filled with lies. and deception. and WAR. and a selfish british guy called paul ~ jes's .io domain name facts ~ ~ .io is the official domain of "the british indian ocean territory" ~ why .io instead of .tbiot? i would have guessed because .tbiot sounds _fucking awful_. but it turns out the two-character "io" comes from a country code standard called iso-3166[1] who knew?! ~ but wait, isn't the indian ocean more than just the british territories? * yes, a lot more. so much more. the indian ocean is really big. ~ so what, the domain is bad because it funnels money into bri'ish pockets? welllll, not exactly....................................but yes ~ british colonialism? not exactly. but also yes ~ wait wait hold up jes, this isn't facts about the io domain at all - it seems like you're just asking random questions to yoursel- this is my blog and i'll do what i want god damni- ~~~ a brief history of the io domain ~~~ 1997: the .io domain was delegated by IANA (the internet domain police) to paul kane: a "proper" british "bloke" who wanted to "make euros" from "the internet"*. * paul kane named his company "internet computer bureau" or "ICB" if IANA is the internet domain police, maybe paul wanted to be the internet domain FBI? 2014: paul kane claims that "each of the overseas territories has an account and the funds are deposited there because obviously the territories have expenses that they incur and it’s offsetting that." * which seems charitable, until: 2014: the UK government responds with "There is no agreement between the UK government and ICB regarding the administration of the .io domain" * despite paul's claims, all .io proceeds likely flowed directly into ICB ⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢻⣿ ⡆⠊⠈⣿⢿⡟⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣎⠈⠻ ⣷⣠⠁⢀⠰⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠛⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⢹⣿⡑⠐⢰ ⣿⣿⠀⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡩⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⠠⠈⠊⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⠁⢀⠆⢀ noooooo ⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⢤⣿⣿⡿⠃⠈⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣇⡆⠀⠀⣠⣾ ooo ⣿⣿⣿⣧⣦⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠐⣿⣿⣷⣦⣷⣿⣿ paul ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ whyyy D: ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⣾⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣧⠀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠀⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣠⣂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣄⣤⣤⣔⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 2017: paul sells ICB to afilias for $70 million * naturally, this frees up all of paul's time that he has been spending (checks notes) working^Wowning domain names and lying about charity. neat 2019: ethos capital is formed in order to buy the .org TLD * they raised a BILLION dollars to buy .org * they failed 😄 2020: afilias is acquired by donuts (a company, not a food) * donuts owns a bunch of non-traditional domain names, so acquiring .io was probably a huge factor in this purchase 2021: a very sexually frustrated ethos capital buys donuts and afilias * and merges them into "identity digital" recap. ethos capital was formed to raise money to buy and profit from the .org domain which has historically been not-for-profit and had a price ceiling but they were stopped 🥳 but they got pissed and bought some other domains 😠 and now, ethos capital owns .io neat. 🍩 donut break 🍩 nom. nom. okay. so far so good. nothing too crazy. i mean, money in tech - weird. feels bad. but nothing insane. welllllll llllllllllllll llllllllllllll ////// TIME WARP ////// 1967: the USA asks the UK to expel the native Chagossians from the chagos archipelago * the chagos archipelago is - you guessed it - within the british indian ocean territory * the UK obeys and expels the native Chagossians 1971: the USA builds a military base on the chagos archipelago * since 1971, the chagos archipelago has _only_ been inhabited by employees of the US military - everyone else is forbidden. \\\\\ END TIME WARP \\\\\ now things get *strange*: 2020-2021: .io gets _very_ popular among cryptocurrency enthusiasts 2021: the united nations tribunal of law and sea (UNTOLAS) claims that the UK has no sovereignty over the chagos archipelago * this claim would EXTINGUISH the british indian ocean territory, _and_ the iso-3166 two-letter country code, _and_ potentially the .io domain * the UK disputes and does not recognise the tribunal's decision, even tho they're not party to the case 2021: the Chagossian Refugees Group submits complaint against paul kane and ethos capital, seeking repatriation of $7m/year for the .io domain * as far as i can tell, this has gone nowhere tl;dr~ .io domains are associated with: - cryptocurrency - startup culture - military occupation - native population displacement .io domains support: - a lucky liar making millions - an evil capital firm that attempted a hostile .org takeover .io domains may: - be extinguished 🧯 so basically, ---.._ `\ ,;;;, "--.._ |,%%%%%% _ `\;;;; -\ _ _.'/\ try not to buy ,;;;;" .__{=====/_)==:_ || .io domains. ,,,;;;;;'`-./.____,'/ / '.\/ bcuz they're icky. 🤮 ;;;;;' `--.._.' / '-. `\/ ,'`. | __.-' \ ,' '`` `---` love, jes
follow me on mastodon!
last updated 2022-11-14T00:00:00.000Z